http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/17/are-your-kids-safe-alone-at-the-park/

• 9 tomatoes (early girl, grape, cherry, seedless steak, beef-something-or-other)
• 11 peppers (red, green, jalapeno, habenero, and banana)
• 4 cabbage
• 2 squash
• 4 – 14′ rows of onions
• 1 – 14′ row of carrots
• 2 – 14′ rows of radishes
• 6-7 potato plants (Kennebec and red)
• 9 – 14′ rows of sweet corn

It was lots of work. My hamstrings are sore today. Nate had a fantastic idea, though: to dig a post into the garden’s center, and keep our sprinkler on top of it. It’s been fantastic for the 3 times we’ve watered so far!

Garden #1…wish it well!

We’re gonna plant the second (15′ x 30′) garden this coming weekend. It will include cucumbers, beans, peas, pumpkins, lettuce, and sunflowers — and whatever else we decide at the last minute.   I’ve also planted cilantro, chervil, thyme, rosemary, basil, and lavender in pots on the screen porch. Cheers to a fresh, delicious summer!

Happy Mother’s Day, Amie. I think you’re one of the very best mothers I’ve ever known.

Oh, Amie? You don’t love to hold the chickens?

Hey Mom! Let’s dance and run around and race in the dirt! C’mon!

Diggin’ for grubs. Super fun…for one of these girls!

I guess I’ll play inside for a little while.

Okay…back outside. Let’s roll down the hill! Cmon mom! Let’s go!

C’mere chicky-babies!

You think we can pet one?

For a billion adorable reasons, this is one of my favorite photos EVER.

Aren’t dandelions so pretty?!?!?!!

I’ve received many, many private messages, too. Some of them were filled with (completely unwarranted!) kindness, some with empathy and understanding, and some with heartbreaking sadness. I hate that bullying is — or was — such a big issue in so many of your lives. I’m going to paste some of your comments below (names removed), because I believe the sheer number of them illustrates exactly how many people have been affected by this.

I did not write this post to garner sympathy, though I’ve definitely received plenty of it. I certainly did not intend — and do not want — former classmates to feel guilty. The people who treated me this way were not horrible people — they were kids. And most of them have become absolutely wonderful, kind-hearted, compassionate adults. Junior high and high school years are awkward and awful for many (most?) of us. We were all filled with insecurities and ambitions and ideas and questions that needed to come out. We all behaved in the ways we knew how to behave at the time. We were all perfectly imperfect kids.

I wrote I Was Bullied because I’ve seen too many stories of teenage depression and suicide resulting from bullying. I understand exactly how awful it feels to be in this position. Many, many days I longed for nothing more than to be six feet underground, free of the daily torment. Oh, Mom tried her hardest to reassure me, to promise that things would get better…but I could only roll my eyes and cry. I was certain that she couldn’t possibly understand. But she did understand — and I understand, too. And a million other people in this world understand, and they care about you. And one day this life filled with the daily torment of bullies will be nothing but a memory to you. And you’ll graduate from school, and you’ll be a stronger, smarter, more kind and compassionate person. And people will admire that about you, and you’ll be surrounded by people who love you for exactly who you are, exactly the way you are. It’s true.

I won’t lie: it took me a while to “get over it.” But I’ve become the happiest person I know in this world. And I’m sure that my strength of character came in large doses in sixth and seventh grades.

Here are some of the things you said (thank you!):

• Wow! I had no idea that [you] went through this. So sad that kids act like this!…Rachel…keep telling your story!
• Very moving. My step-daughter is going through a MUCH more mild version of this, but it’s still hard to see someone in pain and to get them to believe that things will get better.
• Very sad to read… People are so cruel… Thank you for posting… such a well written and thoughtful piece!
• Thanks for sharing this. As a mom of preteen daughters, this is a huge issue in schools. Such a personal story — so brave of Rachel to share — and so well written.
• Like many [of you] who commented, I looked up to Rachel and thought she was amazing (I vividly remember how excited I was the few times I slept over at her house and how special she made me feel to be her friend), so it’s hard to reconcile my memories of her with the experiences she writes about here. I know how I struggled to fit in though, and I can only imagine how much harder that time was for her while being bullied as extensively as she describes. I don’t think it’s anything particular to the community in which I grew up, because I moved back after years away and truly believe it’s a good place full of many kind, caring people. [A friend] has been talking to me this year about helping our children build a solid foundation of self-worth and a sense of God’s love. So necessary for so many reasons. Thank you, Rachel!
• Oh wow! What a sad and troubling article. It never [ceases] to amaze me how cruel kids can be. My brother was bullied extensively in junior high and I know that is a big part of why he struggles so much in his adult life.
• What a powerful and well written article. Thanks for sharing it. Our school is really trying to stress an anti-bully climate, but it is still there, even with the young ones.
• My daughter was the victim of extreme bullying, moving her school was the only answer. By why should the victim have to change everything to feel safe? She now rides in a car an hour every day (30 min. each way), but at least she feels safe and has awesome friends that would never let her be a victim again. Bullying is one of the only crimes were the victim is often thought to have brought it on her/himself.
• Rachel, 2 things:  (1) Wow, I wish I had known, I was in college at the time but often on weekends I was just down the street. What I wouldn’t give to go back and hug you and let you know you weren’t alone! (2) I think you really should think about submitting this editorial for publication…You are an amazing writer and could touch many people!
• …if Facebook and texting had been around when I was in HS, I don’t think I would have been strong enuf either…its just horrible!
• I dare anyone of those Bullies to stand up now…I would like to hear what they have to say… so if you read this and you were a bully…then NUT UP and tell us what was wrong with YOU…I need to know…I have 2 children in Jr High!!!!
• I would have never guessed that. i loved … your individualism. I looked up to you. My thought was, if she can be who she wants to be and speak her mind, why cant I? You were so intimidating.You walked down the halls with your head held high. I was so jealous. I wish I would have known, Rachel. I know it doesn’t count for much now, but I am so sorry for what you went through …
• I too believe, with all of my heart, that social media would have literally killed me before 10th grade.
• I was one of those tormentors. It has been many years and I do not remember any specific acts of bullying, but from the bottom of my heart I apologize. I can tell you that I did lots of dumb things, mostly in my own attempts to fit in, unsuccessfully…but no excuses, I was wrong and I am sorry. It is also sad that it took me nearly 20 years to apologize for my actions. please forgive me.  [NOTE: this guy wasn’t one of those tormentors at all. He only treated me with kindness.]
• Rachel, I had no idea. Some of my best junior high memories are with you, how much I looked up to you and how you were always so kind to me when I too was struggling to fit in. I’m sorry you suffered during those years.
• Thank you for telling your story, Rachel! I am so sorry this happened, but hopefully the fact that you are brave enough to talk about it will give us all the courage to confront it whenever and wherever we see it and not brush it off as “they’re just kids!”. We all must put a stop to this.
• Wow, Rach, what a moving article. I’m truly sorry if I was ever one of those who did anything. I, too, admired you for your musical, artistic, and intellectual abilities. Very proud of you girl!!
• Rachel, I had no idea. I was only a grade ahead of you, and your sister was my friend & classmate – how could I not know? I am so sorry…As a sensitive child who has grown up to become a parent, this scares me so very much. You have written this so well. I struggle now with how to teach my children that their lives have purpose, and that despite it all, they can be OK. Thank you for sharing your story.
• Never fails….either I’m laughing or crying after one of [your] posts. Great post, Rach!
• Thank you so much for sharing this
• I had no idea she went through all that. Damn.
• Wow Rachel, this is a very powerful article to be read by everyone…!
• I shared this on my page. It is so important!! Thank you!
• I loved your story…totally an eye opener for sure…you just never know…could come from anyone in any shape or form…
• Be proud of who you are Rach! We are all a piece of art, each piece is something special and unique and we don’t have to please everyone!
• Thanks so much for sharing, Rachel! What you say at the end is so true – it really does get better. We’re so glad you are willing to stand up and talk about what it was like for you, and to show that you’ve become stronger in the aftermath.
• Rachel, I just wanted to thank you so much for your blog post about bullying. I read it in the wee hours of the morning when I couldn’t sleep, and tried not to cry. And I read it again just now, again trying not to cry. I thought you were so damn awesome when I was in junior high, I never imagined you had gone through so much pain.
• I absolutely hated growing up, I was so miserable and so sad…
• Thanks for sharing, Rachel! Very well written.. this bullying stuff really is scary. So sorry you were a victim! You are a beautiful and strong woman!
• Wow Rachel, I had no idea. I’m very sad to hear that. Very well written by you. For what it’s worth during the years that I knew you I always thought of you as a fun loving person with high self confidence. You always were good at making me laugh or giving me a good debate about whatever the current events were. That’s what I appreciated about you.
• Wow. Just…wow. Thank you for sharing this Rachel!
• I read your blog entry and as a psychologist in No. Virginia who has worked with young kids & teens, I’d like to ask if you would consider volunteering to talk about what you went through to kids in schools, churches, community centers etc. As a survivor of this horrible bullying who has excellent insight into how it affected you, you would be an excellent communicator directly to these kids who are on the receiving end of bullying and may even reach the bullies themselves if they can be reached at all. Knowing adults who have been through this and made it would give the victims encouragement to proactively seek assistance rather than allowing themselves to absorb the bully’s message and turn on themselves. Please consider my suggestion.
• I truly am scared for my kids  Bullying starts so early these days.
• This is so sad…
• Goosebumps…you’re beautiful.

None of these experiences, though, was worse than junior high school.

When I was in 6th grade, I was very tall and thin, with a disproportionately well-developed body. Beginning that year (and continuing for the next several), many boys in my class grabbed my breasts all day long: in the hallways, during lunch hour, throughout recess, even when the teacher wasn’t looking during class. They had pet names for my boobs. The boy who sat behind me in Mr. Larson’s classroom reached under my shirt and unhooked my bra several times each day. I received explicit drawings and notes regularly, with references to sex acts I’d never heard of.

I began wearing over-sized clothing, slumping self-consciously in my desk, wearing overstuffed winter coats for entire school days—even in May.

That same year, many girls in my class began a similar mission of cruelty. My locker and desk were repeatedly scrawled with the words “Whore,” “Slut,” “Bitch,” “Cunt.” (I remember bringing one note home to Mom, asking her what ‘whore’ meant.) I received anonymous notes in my locker—daily—mocking my “shit-colored hair” and “cow eyes.” I was tall, and if I ever wore green, my classmates sang “Ho-Ho-Ho, Green Giant!” Every time I wore new shoes, one girl made it her mission to stomp on them with her dirty soles, and then tease me for being upset about it. The girls ridiculed my height, my hair, my eyes, my clothes, my voice, my stride, my laugh, my cry, my grades, my very existence. They made fun of the way I wrote an ampersand, for heaven’s sake! When I sat down in the cafeteria, everyone near me promptly stood up and moved to a new table. Classmates left notes threatening to kill me if I didn’t stop being such a slut. (Interesting side note: I had never so much as even kissed a boy until years after this bullying stopped.)

For two years, I received at least monthly notes urging me to kill myself and spare everyone around me the misery of my existence.

Sadly, for at least one of those years, I considered it a real option.

There was nothing I could’ve done differently at the time. Though I tried desperately to fit in, to end the bullying, to become the girl I thought my classmates wanted me to be, I was too young and naïve and insecure to realize that nothing would’ve made a difference.  It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d been short and blonde and stupid: a bully just needs a victim, and I made a good one.

I was a sensitive girl, prone to obsessive and negative thoughts. (Incidentally, these same charming characteristics have followed me into adulthood—but with improved coping skills and a broader, better understanding of the world.) Time magazine’s recent article, The Relationship Between Bullying and Depression, discusses the complicated “chicken or egg” relationship between victims of bullying and their histories of increased sensitivity and depression. It’s worth a read.

As I hear of more and more young teenagers committing suicide as a result of bullying, I feel a load of empathy and compassion. I still have diaries from those days, filled with entries lamenting my school experience. In one, I wrote, “I don’t think I can live anymore, not in a place where respect is earned by running the football and holding your alcohol. I don’t belong here. I hope I belong somewhere.”

I’m convinced—yes, I’m absolutely CERTAIN—that had I grown up in the age of Facebook and texting, I would not have lived to see eighth grade. Today’s victims cannot escape the harassment. There is no getaway, no safe escape at home for a few hours before the cycle begins again with each new school day.

I could say a million things. I could write for pages and pages. But all I really want to say is this: it REALLY DOES GET BETTER. It REALLY WILL BE OKAY. It’s hard—when you’re young and sensitive and inexperienced with many of life’s truths—to see that the days of bullying and harassment will end. It feels hopeless and impossible, but most of your classmates will eventually grow up—and most of them will become kind, thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate people who will honestly regret the pain they caused you.

I can’t pretend to offer a solution; I just wanted to add my voice to a growing conversation, to help make sure the conversation continues. I want to let victims of bullying know that it will get better, and they’ll grow up to be happy, successful, strong people who won’t experience anything as awful as junior high school ever again.

Anyway, I let him follow me out to the chicken coop this afternoon, and once again, he was back to normal Finny. He was real obsessed with the chickens, but absolutely transfixed on the chicks. He ran fast — and with real agility! — around the around the chicken run. And then he stopped and stared, motionless, for about 10 minutes. It was lots of fun for him.

All I want is 10 seconds inside, alone with them.

Funny Finny!